When you're a child, you take being young for granted. Everything is easy. You're tired? Take a nap. You're hungry? Eat. Everything is handed to you on a silver platter, and all you want is to grow up.
But it isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it? You get what you wish for. You wanted to grow up, and now you have. So what now? School, a job, moving out, getting married, bills....
Let me just take a second to say "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!?!?"
I got married young. Younger than most people I know. And even though I love my husband more than anything, it isn't easy. I'm not just looking out for number one anymore. Now there's two of us. We are a family and we have to make decisions about OUR life together. But again, it isn't easy. Although we have come together in marriage, we are still two very different people. I have my own opinions and of course, he has his. Then throw in the added stresses of being a military family. As much as we try to control our life, a good portion of it is held out of our reach by the military. They have control over where we live, how long we live there...Yes, it sucks. We do everything in our power to keep level heads and do what we think is the right thing to do. But who really knows what the right thing is?
We recently found out that Nick was accepted for Recruiting. Now, when I say "accepted", I mean "chosen without any say". After much deliberation, we have decided that this would be the best decision for us. He would have to extend a few extra years and that isn't fun, but this is a job that keeps him home. He gets to come home every night. No deployments! WOO!!! Well, now that that's been decided, where do we live? Where do we want to establish ourselves? Of course, my family here in California want us to stay here. I love Cali, I was born here, my family is here, my friends are here...But is this really what's best for me and Nick? His family wants us to move out to New Jersey. Somewhere I've never really spent any time, don't really feel comfortable and somewhere that he hasn't been in a very long time. I feel like he imagines his old life there. I don't think he takes into consideration that it has been six years since he's lived there. Things change, people change. I want us to go somewhere where we can be our own family. Not the family that is molded and formed by everyone else. Somewhere where we can say, "This is our home". Where we can start a family. Where we have a chance to grow with each other.
Is this the right decision? I'm not sure, but I feel like it is right for us.
