Life is like an hourglass...Eventually everything hits the bottom and all you have to do is wait it out until someone comes along and turns it around...

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Busy bee!

I feel like time is zooming past and standing still at the same time. Is that possible?!

When I say that we're moving in June, I feel like that is SOOO far away! But when I say we are moving in exactly 3 months... Well, that seems right around the corner!

Although my stress level is waayyy down after finding a buyer for the house, I still have an outrageous amount of anxiety because I still have NO idea where we are going to be living. That seriously scares the living Hell out of me! I want to plan! I want to research! THIS IS KILLING MEEEEE!

I'm going to be a busy bee next month. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to book my weekends solid with photo shoots. While that's good for the pocket, it's not good for getting this house packed up! Whoops ;)
I did go get boxes and those weird vacuum bags you put blankets and pillows in though! That's a start. I have created a goal for myself to get one box packed up each day. That sounds easy, but with the kid and the dogs taking up all my time and energy, this could be a tough goal to fulfill!

One step at a time, Ashleigh. One step at a time!



Now, since my whole house fell asleep before the sun went down, I should really put my time to use! Buuuttttt..... that Malibu in the fridge is really calling my name. ;D

Sunday, March 16, 2014

I'm a Marine Wife for a little longer.

So much has changed in the last month. I don't even know where to start!

In my last post I talked about us trying to make a decision to either take a police job in MD or try and stay in Ca. Well, we made a decision but it wasn't what we (or anyone else for that matter) were expecting!

Hubby accepted Recruiting Duty orders. This means we're in it for another 3-4 years and will probably end up continuing on in the Military until he retires. Overall this was the best decision for our little family. It is a guaranteed paycheck and great benefits. Something we weren't sure we would have if we waited for an answer from the police departments.

We're both a little sad that Nick's CHP dreams are put on hold, but after talking about it over and over, it just didn't seem smart to keep waiting for them to make a decision. We were also very concerned about his foot and leg, and how long they would last with how much stress a police job would put on them.

I'm trying to stay positive through all of this. But let me tell ya, it ain't easy! We have been CRAZY BUSY the last few weeks getting our house "Sell Worthy". We scrubbed this place top to bottom, wall to wall! The day we put it up for sale, we had three people come look at it! The first week was quite a whirl wind! After just a week and a half, we had three offers and ended up accepting one just a few days ago. Knowing that we have a buyer has definitely taken a weight off of my shoulders. But that's just one piece of the puzzle.

The hardest part of all this, is not knowing where we will move to. We could literally go anywhere in the US! (You could totally say a little prayer that we end up in NorCal...if you want.) I really want to be able to research where we will live. I want to know where the schools are, the stores, how close a park is, what the houses look like...but I can't do any of that! It is so frustrating. I can't prepare at all!

Anyways...Just wanted to throw a little update out there! Not sure how much I will be able to get on here in the next few months. My time will be spent getting this house all packed up and ready to go! :)

Friday, January 17, 2014

Being a grown up is hard work!

The last few days have been CRAZY! My little family is here in New Jersey visiting with some of Hubby's family. We have also been traveling to maryland for him to take a few police tests. The good news is he passed them all! I am so proud of him! The hard part is now having to decide what we are going to do. Pack up our lives and accept a job on the east coast, or have him reenlist and go another twelve years with him in the military. 

Both decisions have their good and bad points...

Taking the Maryland job:
PROS...
Experiencing another part of the country
Getting out of the military
Hubby getting to be close to his family
G getting to be around his other grandparents more
Experiencing more than one season
Meeting new people
CONS...
Moving away from my family and friends
Having to suffer through a snowy winter season
The uncertainty of what life will be like taking this job
Not making as much money
Potentially having G in daycare so I can work

Reenlisting:
PROS...
A guaranteed paycheck for the next 12 years
Retirement
Benefits like health insurance
CONS...
Deployments 
Not having a say about where we live or how long we live there
Being on military time
Never being able to establish a life somewhere

I'm stressed out. But I can't even come close to imagining how stressed out my husband it. Whatever decision he makes not only affects him, but his wife and kid as well. He carries that weight around with him and I feel terrible. 

I wish this was an easy decision. 

Monday, January 13, 2014

Leavin' on a jet plane!

For a very long time now, Hubby has been trying to get hired with a Police Department out here in California. Things didn't work out right away and he was forced to re-enlist for another 4 years. We had just gotten married and he chose four years of stable income instead of following his career dreams. For that, I am so very grateful! Well, fast forward 4 years, and we are coming to another crossing point. His contract is almost up and he is in line for two police jobs. One here and one in Maryland. Unfortunately, the job here is taking much longer to process than we thought it would and Hubby is literally DAYS away from having to decide if he wants to re-enlist AGAIN! This time, to make a 20 year career out of it.

Needless to say, the stress level in this house has been turned to eleven...

Tomorrow we head to the east coast for him to take a few more tests. It sounds as though the job is his as long as he passes these tests. That's good right?! Well, if any of you know me, you probably just imaged me kicking and screaming while being dragged through the airport. That's not the case though. I do have reservations about leaving and I am seriously terrified of having to pack up my 25 year life in California and head to a new place, but will it really be as bad as I imagine? The fight within me is unreal.

I'm terrified of change! Of course it would be nice to see another part of this country. Experience something new. And who knows...Maybe I will actually love it! It's having an open mind that's killing me. I don't want to go. I don't want to say good bye to my family and friends. I don't want to leave everything I have ever know. I don't want to give up my year round summer or the beautiful beaches. Today I wore a sundress...A FREAKIN SUNDRESS IN JANUARY, PEOPLE! How amazing is that?! And what if I hate it there? What if I am absolutely miserable??

I am really having a hard time with this...I just wish I wasn't made to feel bad about being uncertain. Which is why I am venting here...instead of out loud. Here I can get everything off my chest without interruptions. Without judgement.

Well, these bags aren't going to pack themselves! There's a good chance I'll be back to continue my rant. You're lucky you aren't in my head right now!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

I HATE Square One

I promised myself I would document my "weight loss journey" and I guess part of that journey will be let downs...

I have been going at this for 2 whole weeks now. Two weeks of vitamins, two weeks of eating right, and two weeks of working out. Up until last night I felt great! I felt like I had more energy! I was actually excited to get on the elliptical every day. I felt a change that I haven't felt in a very long time. Until last night...I was happy with how things were going...

Well, last night I had my husband take my measurements. I was convinced that even though I didn't really SEE a difference in my body yet, the numbers would prove me wrong. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. While comparing numbers, I felt every ounce of motivation leave my body. One swift blow to the face...My measurements were exactly the same...

HOW COULD THAT BE?!?!

Two weeks of busting my ass and not a single thing to show for it!! Even just typing those words brings me to tears...

Mentally I am back to square one. And I guess technically, physically, I never left square one...

Monday, January 6, 2014

M.I.L.F Status ;)

Okay...maybe I'm not a milf YET...But I will be!!

Operation Hot Mama is in full effect!

As I mentioned before, part of my resolution was to get healthy. I used the word "healthy" for a reason. I don't just want to be skinny, I want to be fit! I want my outside to look and feel just as great as my inside! That means exercising AND eating right!

For the last two weeks or so, I have been on a supplement program to help jump start my body on the inside and get it cleaned out. In addition to that, I have been working out on our elliptical for 20 mins almost every day. I weighed myself, took measurements AND took "before" pictures on Day 1 but have not had a chance to take a new set of numbers since then. I must say, though, I do FEEL better! I still don't think I look like I have lost weight and I don't really see a difference in how my clothes fit yet but feeling great is just as important as looking great :) (especially when your self esteem is as low as mine...boo)

On top of my supplement program and my elliptical work outs, I started the Bikini Body Mommy Challenge (again). It is a 90 day program and all exercises are done in the home using mostly just your own body weight. 
Today was day 1...the Fit Test!
This is BY FAR the hardest part of the challenge. It is a series of 8 exercises in 8 minutes. You have to do as many of each as you can and you record your number. Throughout the 90 days, the Fit Test pops up a few more times, and each time you record your numbers and HOPEFULLY you've improved!
It doesn't seem difficult on paper, but holy mother of all that is holy....THIS KILLS ME!!!! By the end of the 8 minutes, I have just enough energy in me to make it to the toilet to throw up. I'm not sure why this happens to me, but every time I do this Fit Test, I end up with my face over the bowl. It is just that wicked! Luckily, the other days of the challenge are a little nicer :)
Here are my results....Don't laugh...
Speed Squats: 30
High Knees: 65
Push Ups: 20
Squat Jumps: 13
Tricep Dips: 12
Burpees: 8
Alternating Lunges: 30
Elbow Plank: 50seconds

Anyways, since today was the first day of this challenge, I will be taking a new set of measurement and pictures. I don't like doing it, but when I am complete with the full 90 days, I want to be able to see how far I've come :)

Yay for fitness!

Did I just say that?!

Saturday, January 4, 2014

2014 Welcome back to blogging, Ashleigh!

It has been quite some time since my last post. Being a new mom has pretty much sucked up any free time I used to have! (not that I'm complaining!)

As part of my 2014 New Year Resolution, I decided to get back to blogging. I loved having a place to just spill my thoughts, big or small. Clear my head. Get it all down on paper...er...computer?
2014 is my year! I made a few resolutions for myself....
Number 1: Get healthy!! I've used being a new mom as an excuse for my weight for a year now, and I don't think anyone is buying it anymore! I don't have an excuse. Working out and eating right was just not something I was ready for yet. I was not in the right mind set and it didn't matter what I did, if my mind wasn't going to change, my body wasn't going to either. But the excuses are done with. I vow to be the healthiest version of myself! That means not only am I getting my body healthy, but my mid too!
Number 2: Control the controllables! This is something that my dad has said to me for years now. I just sort of brushed it off as "dad advice". But I have come to realize that it is THE BEST piece of advice I have ever been given. I spend too much time worrying about the "what ifs", the "maybes", and not enough time focusing on the positives I have sitting right in front of me.
Number 3: Just go with it! Stop wasting time being afraid! This is by far the hardest part of my resolution. I am afraid of a lot of things. Spiders, drowning, breaking a bone, snakes (okay, pretty much any creepy, crawly, hairy, slimy, non-domestic creature known to man), falling, dying...But above all, I am afraid of change. Any kind of change, big or small, scares the sh*t out of me! Why? I have absolutely NO IDEA!!!! I hate uncertainty. I hate not knowing what that change will do in my life. I like routine. I like structure. You would think after almost 6 years of living on Marine Corps time, I would be used to not knowing how anything will turn out, but I'm not. I need to stop being afraid, and just go with it!
And finally, Number 4: Be happy! This one may seem silly to some of you. You're probably thinking "Duh, why wouldn't you be happy?" Well, I am... I have a great husband who works his ASS off to keep this family together! I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in my belly. I have two dogs who keep me company every day and show me unconditional love even when I am at my breaking point. But most importantly, I have to most wonderful kid anyone could ask for! He is my whole world, my shining star, my reason to wake up every morning with a smile on my face and the reason I go to bed every night with that same beaming smile! He is my baby and I love him more than words could ever express. So this part of the resolution is not necessarily to "be happy" but to appreciate the happiness and express gratitude! Smile more, Ashleigh...You have a lot to smile about!

Okay, enough of my ramblings... It is time to get back into Mommy Mode, nap time is almost over!

Hello, 2014! I am ready for you!