Life is like an hourglass...Eventually everything hits the bottom and all you have to do is wait it out until someone comes along and turns it around...

Monday, March 28, 2011

I deserve the world!

So why is everything falling to pieces!?!?

I feel like I am drowning. I can't breathe. For every one step forward, I'm forced 8 steps back. I have never felt so lost and out of control in my whole life. Why is this happening to me?! I used to have things so figured out! I used to know where I was going. I used to be HAPPY!

Where is that happiness now? I haven't felt it in quite some time...

There is too much on my plate and I'm too full to eat...School, a job, marriage, a wedding, deployment...I want a day off from life. Can I do that? Can I just take a break for one day?! Just a day to relax, take a breather, figure out WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING!!!!

I've fallen into a hole and I don't know when it happened. I just keep falling down...down...There's nobody there to catch me and eventually I am going to hit the ground, hard!

I have no help, no support. When is it going to be MY turn? When am I going to get what I want? What I NEED? Why can't anything go the way I want it? Why can't I get my head above the water?? WHY ISN'T ANYBODY HERE FOR ME???

I deserve so much better than this...I deserve the WORLD!

I am tired of the anxiety. I am tired of the depression. I am tired of the pain...