Last night I was finally able to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with my husband. It felt unbelievable to get everything off my chest. I just kept telling him that this time is different...this time is scary. I support him 100% but he needs to be there in return to support me too.
He started with anger...Angry that I couldn't just get through this. That I was overreacting. That I was being over-emotional...But eventually, that anger turned into understanding.
When he is at work with other marines and friends, they tend to make light of the situation by using humor. Jokes to make a tragic situation seem just that much better. They play this "Tough Guy" role and forget that it is actually okay to be nervous. That is what us wives are for. We are here to let you know that we back you up everyday...We are here through thick and thin! But making jokes is only like taking a little dagger to our hearts...
He tries to be the tough guy whiles he's home. He thinks making jokes will make it easier on me. "Why do you feel the need to dwell on the negative?" he asks me. "We don't want to be reminded of the bad...You shouldn't either!"
As a woman, we like to analyze EVERY aspect of a situation...that's just how we work. We can't accept the good without knowing the bad, too. We don't want to imagine our man not coming back home to us, but at the same time, we don't want to hear that you're invincible...that nothing will ever happen to you. That only makes us worry more. Worry that you aren't going into this seriously.
I am so proud of my husband and what he does. My husband...a Unites States Marine! Someone that SO many people look up to and support! I will be behind him no matter what.
So, after over an hour spent and a few tears shed (Okay, A LOT of tears shed) we finally came to an agreement...
I promise to not overwhelm him at work with the things I worry about via text message. I will wait until he is home to sit down and have an actual conversation.
And he promises to remove his "Marine Hat" while he is home and just be my husband...
To my husband, USMC SGT Nickolas A. Poole, I will love you forever!! Semper Fi <3
