Today is not a good day. Every time I walk by his stuff lined up in our living room, I cry. I have not had enough time to prepare for this! He shouldn't be going...We were told he wouldn't be going...I am trying to be supportive on the outside, but on the inside I just want to die...
I have been through one deployment already. You'd think it would be no problem. But this time is different...This time is scary...I don't want to lose him. I don't want to be alone. What would I do without him?? He likes to think he is invincible and that nothing could ever happen to him. He likes to make jokes and poke fun at the idea of this deployment, but every joke is another knife to the heart. This isn't funny to me...This isn't a joke. I try and talk to him about it but he doesn't want to have a serious conversation...he doesn't want to hear the possibilities...I feel like I am all alone in this...
I just need someone to talk to. Someone who can share their experiences with me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I can't fill my days with enough to get me through this...all I can do is cry...
Dear deployment,
I hate you!
Sincerely,
Ashleigh
