Chicken Soup Part 2

Can't Let Go

I had said good-bye to my husband, Joe, so often, but this time was different.

We now had our first child. After nights of soul-searching and what-ifs, we made the difficult decision that Joe would go by himself to Alabama for the six-month training course, and I would stay behind with our new son. It was important that I hold on to my teaching position near our home at Fort Hood, plus we were part of a strong network of friends whom I could count on to see me through the rough spots.

On Joe's last evening home- always a melancholy time- I bathed little Joey, got him into his sleeper and was heading to the bedroom when Joe gently touched me on the shoulder. Lifting the baby from my arms, he said he wanted to tuck Joey in tonight.

They headed down the hall, and I busied myself with meaningless tasks, expecting Joe to emerge from the bedroom within a few minutes. A half hour went by, and still he had not come back. Figuring he was having trouble getting our son to fall asleep, I tiptoed to the baby's room and peeked into the dimly lit room.

Sitting in the rocking chair, moving slowly back and forth, was my husband, stifling quiet sobs. He was holding our sleeping infant in his arms as though he would never let go.

I whispered, "Honey, what can I do?"

His pained eyes met mine, and after a moment he mumbled, "I just can't put him down."

That night, we stood over Joey's crib, holding each other, consoling ourselves and saying over and over that we would make it through this separation and be together again soon.

Joey is six now, and he has a four-year-old brother named Jack. There have been many farewells since that night, yet my military hero still fights back tears when it's time to leave once again in service to his country and give his boys that last, long hug good-bye.

What a vacation!!!

So, it has been a few days since my last post. We went on a 4-day vacation to San Diego with my dad and sister. We had a BLAST!!! I really didn't want to come back home.

We left on Saturday morning, and saying goodbye to the puppy was so sad. We left him with 'Grandma' so we knew he would be in good hands. Once we got into town and checked into the hotel, it was time to hit the pool!!! Even though we were only an hour and a half away from our home, it was as if we had left the country. We didn't have to worry about a thing! No laundry, no housework, no job....All that we had to think about was what drink we wanted to order while poolside! (I opted for a margarita!)
After spending a few hours at the pool we headed back to the room to shower and change and grab some food. Dinner ended up being Mexican (MY FAV!!) out in Old Town. It was a nice little area with some miscellaneous shops and dinner was very tasty!

Sunday (Easter) was the Phillie's baseball game. Nick was super stoked and our seats were AMAZING! We were able to stand up against the fence while the guys stretched and practice throwing the ball. I got sooo many pictures! They ended up winning, and swept the whole 4-game series against the SD Padres. Nick was like a little kid and even got his hat signed by one of the pitchers!!

Monday we went to the San Diego Zoo! Nick had never been and it had been a very long time for the rest of us! I just couldn't wait to see the monkeys!!! I was really hoping one could escape and come home with me! I can't even begin to explain how sore I am from all the walking. Uphill...downhill...uphill...downhill...Miles and miles and miles!!! Quite the workout! Nick and I got a caricature done of the two of us, and I must say, it came out GREAT! The guy did an amazing job! We went to dinner at a place called Lucha Libre Taco Shop. You may recognize this place from the TV show Man VS Food. If you even get a chance to go, DO IT! They have some of the best Mexican food I have ever eaten...HUGE portions and for soooo little money!! YUMMM

Sadly, we had to come back home today. As badly as we wanted to stay, reality was knocking on our door. We had to pick up our pup and get ready for a busy rest of the week.

I still haven't gotten our photo shoot pictures back yet, and I am DYING!!!!! I want to see them so very badly!

I'm ready for a nap...Until next time! <3

Who cries over laundry?!

Apparently, I do...

Today was a relatively normal day. Crawled out of bed, took the dog out, made some breakfast, sat around for a bit with the hubby, etc. We decided to pick ourselves up and run a few errands. We are going on a mini-vacation this weekend and have SOOO much to do before then.

We decided the things we needed to do didn't really involve both of us being present (Which means we can bring the pup. One of us goes into the store, the other waits in the car with the dog, or the dog is able to do whatever it is we are doing.) We like having days like this, and I think Jaxson appreciated not being locked in the crate all day!!

I get really happy when the three of us are just cruising along. It's as if we have left the real world for that short amount of time. The windows down, wind blowing through our ears, radio blaring! Ah, bliss! My favorite part is when the dog sticks his little face out the window trying to soak in as many smells as he possibly can. He just looks so happy!

Then I opened my big fat mouth!
"Baby, will you miss us when you're gone?
"Of course I will!! I will miss both of you equally, VERY MUCH!!"
**Insert tears and me shutting said big fat mouth**

We went about the rest of our day as planned.

When we got home I decided to throw in some laundry. As I am sorting everything into piles I'm saying (In my head) "Mine. His. Mine. His. Mine. His."
And then it hit me...This will probably be the last time I do his laundry for MONTHSSS!! It will only be mine...
I stood there, let out a huge sigh, and just started to cry...

So, who cries over laundry?? ME!

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Yesterday I went out and bought the book "Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul"

You're probably asking yourself why I would do this. I already have enough things to cry about, why on Earth would I want to read stories about other people's military experiences? Well, to answer your question....I HAVE NO IDEA!! I really don't know what possessed me to make this purchase. I came across the book one day on amazon and it has been stuck in my head ever since. I finally caved.

So far so good...minimal tears. But I thought it would be fun to share a few stories with you when I came across a good one. So, as you can guess, this post with have more than one part to it!

Here's the first one I really liked:

A NAVY WIFE'S PRAYER

How often we've stood on dark flight lines and piers...
"I love you", "I'll miss you" whispered through tears.
During long separations, in peacetime, at war...
my nights filled with dreams of this man I adore.
With only my memories to hold close at night...
I live for the day God returns my sunlight.
Yes, life goes on when your loved one's at sea...
but the ache never leaves, the fear stays with me.
Dear Lord, I need your guidance, your love...
help me be brave, keep your watch from above.
Hold my dear one so safe in your heart and your hand...
bring him home to his family...this hero...my man.
Of us, Lord, I pray he'll be filled with such pride...
of how we carried on without him by our side.
Please, help time fly quickly and soon I will hold...
the hand of the man whose eyes chase the cold.
Whose voice brings delight, whose touch eases pain.
How will I ever say "Farewell" again?
With your help, dear God, I'll try to stay strong...
and pray that his time here at home will be long.
Still, "I know that the navy will need him" I sigh...
but we'll face it together, Dear Lord, you and I.

Say Cheeesseeeee!

Today we had our Pre-Deployment photo shoot! Long story short, it went AMAZINGLY!!

We went to a place by our house that has a lot of over growth and grassy areas and trees. Even a catfish pond! Nick got to feed them. It put him is a GREAT mood for the shoot. The first half he wore his Charlies and the second half he wore a white button up and jeans to match me in my white sundress.

The posing wasn't even cheesy at all! She had us in pretty natural positions and it was even okay when we took a second to laugh at each other. It doesn't hurt that me and Nick are both hams when it comes to taking pictures!! haha She also took a few of just me. A couple with his dog tags and a couple with his boots which I think will be super cute!

She is supposed to have them ready in about a week or two. I just want to see them now!! Out of 156 shots, there has to be a few good ones in there! ;)

**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**CAN'T WAIT**

I need a good ramble...

...so here goes!

I really don't have anything to talk about. I am not in a bad mood, but not really in a good one either. Nothing significant has happened today to make me feel like this but for some reason I feel like I just need to ramble until I feel better. Let's see where this ends up...

Yesterday was a normal day, spent some time cleaning up the house, played with the puppy, went to physical therapy...They are getting a little more extreme at my appointments now. Each time I go seems to get harder and harder. Not effort wise, I don't do a lot in the way of exercising or being really physical, but in the way they handle my pain. Trying to loosen up my muscles means digging their boney fingers and elbows into my shoulder and hips until I cry! I guess it's a good pain, the kind of pain that makes you feel like something is working, but today when I woke up it felt like I had been hit by a TRUCK!! I didn't even want to move, and my shoulder was so puffy from being swollen...ugh! I am just hoping that this all works and that having this weekly pain, will eventually get rid of my DAILY pain.

Today I went out to lunch with one of my friends. Her husband is deploying with my husband and we needed a girl outing. These are bitter-sweet...While it is nice to spend time with someone who knows what you are going through, it also means that you tend to talk about it more. We spent our time at lunch figuring out how we were going to make it through these 7-8 months. How will we keep ourselves busy? At least I am not alone in this. And guess what?! I didn't even cry talking about it with her!! This is pretty huge for me...I usually can't even say the word 'Deployment' without losing it...I am just so lucky to have such great friends (some of which are in the same boat) to get me through this hard time.

Nick starts his pre-deployment leave as of this Thursday....I am so glad we will have a little vacation together before he leaves! We are taking a San Diego trip to go to the zoo and to a Phillie's baseball game. He wants to make small day trips here and there...IE. Hollywood, Sea world, etc...and eat as much as possible since he won't have the luxuries of eating out while he is gone. (Great, I can already feel my jeans tightening just thinking about it!!)

On Saturday we have a photo-shoot set up! I'M SO EXCITED!! We have only had our pictures taken once (professionally, that is) so this should be a lot of fun!! I am trying to have it done at the winery by our house. I think it would provide a really beautiful background for the pictures. I'll let you know how it goes!! (Insert excessive smiling and bouncy happiness)

We talked more about what my living situation will be while he is gone...should I stay here at the apartment, should we look at houses, should I move back in with my dad??? I really don't know what to do...

Too many things need to get done in a short amount of time!! Getting a job, moving, school......ahhh! I just need to remember to take things one day at a time. When I start taking on too many things at once, I get wayyy too overwhelmed. That's when things start to slip and I lose my mind. When my mind goes, I turn into a huge disastrous mess!! There will be none of that this deployment, I PROMISE!

Three more weeks...

Yesterday I went to a baby shower for one of the girls I used to work with. She had gotten pregnant while I was still working but I hadn't seen her since November! Needless to say, she's about to POP! They only have a few more weeks before their little man comes into the world! I am so happy for them!

Being at the shower gave me massive baby fever!! Everywhere I turned there was a baby or a mommy to be! They were just all over the place! SO JEALOUS! I can't wait until Nick lets us start our own little family...but that will have to be talked about in it's own entry...

A few of the other girls from work were there, and because we haven't seen each other in quite some time, we all had to exchange our "What have you been up to?"s. Everything was going really well and I was so happy hanging out with them again...I really so miss them all so much!! But then I was asked, "So, when is your husband leaving?"

Without hesitation or a change in pitch, I uttered the dreadful words "Three weeks"....

I've said before that this really isn't news to me. I know he is leaving, I know he has to! But for some reason, there are little moments when it catches me off guard. This was one of those moments. It took a few seconds (It seemed like hours) to realize what had actually come out of my mouth...three weeks....my husband is leaving me in THREE WEEKS!! This is crazy! I only have three more weeks to soak up as much of him as possible!

I pulled myself together and enjoyed the rest of the shower.

We went out last night with a couple we know, who happen to work with Nick. They had a baby two months ago and needed a 'Mommy Daddy get away'. We went out to dinner, to the casino to see a comedy show, and ended up at the bar for some drinks! I had a blast. I really enjoy getting to have nights like these. Good times, good people, and the man of my dreams by my side the whole time.

This deployment is going to be rough...VERY ROUGH!!!